I'm a cake - A fancy way to say you're baked so hard you might fall apart

A fancy way to say you're baked so hard you might fall apart like a bad muffin.

I'm a cake, I just smoked a whole joint and I'm gonna explode.

I'm a cake, I just ate a whole pizza and I'm gonna die.

I'm a cake, I just saw my mom wearing socks and I laughed so hard I got a headache.