I'll tell - A brag-heavy phrase from the middle of nowhere that sounds l

A brag-heavy phrase from the middle of nowhere that sounds like it came from a guy who still thinks horses are faster than cars.

I'll tell you about the time I outsmarted a raccoon.

I'll tell you why my uncle's tractor is better than yours.

I'll tell you how I beat my cousin at hide and seek 20 times in a row.