I'd fap that - You say this when you're saying you'd fap to something, but

You say this when you're saying you'd fap to something, but you're also being realistic. You know you'll never get with them.

That guy in the band? I'd fap that. But he’s already dating the drummer.

That guy who gets a perfect score every time? I'd fap that. But he’s already dating my sister.

That guy who can do 10 pull-ups? I'd fap that. But he’s already dating my mom.