I T S P
Ian Thorpe Sex Pest is a man who’s been stuck in South East Essex for so long, he thinks he’s the only one who can flirt.
He asked my sister out and said, 'You’re the best I’ve ever seen.' She said, 'You’re the worst I’ve ever seen.'
He stood in the queue at the café and whispered, 'You’re pretty.' I said, 'You’re creepy.'
He followed me to the bus stop and said, 'Let’s go somewhere. Somewhere fun.' I said, 'No. Somewhere dead.'