I suck at life syndrome - Someone who's so bad at life, they think being alive is a pu

Someone who's so bad at life, they think being alive is a punishment, and their nose is so clogged, they talk like a frog with a sore throat.

I didn't even try to do my homework and now I'm crying in my blanket fort.

I got sick from the air in my room and now I can't speak properly.

I'm so bad at life, I think my immune system is trying to kill me.