i phone job

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A job where men sit around all day and use their i phone more than their brain, like it's the only thing that keeps them from crying.

I just got promoted to 'i phone specialist', I now get paid to check my mail and take selfies.

My boss said I'm too good for the coffee shop, so now I work at the i phone store.

I'm getting a raise because I took 17 selfies during my lunch break.

A job where men talk to their i phone like it's their ex, and they don't even notice they're being fired.

I texted my i phone, 'You're the best,' and got a promotion.

My i phone sent me a message: 'You're fired.' I didn't even see it.

I told my i phone I love it, and now I get a bonus.

A job where men sit in a chair and think they're working because their i phone is blinking.

I just got a new i phone. Now I'm the best employee ever.

My i phone blinked at me, so I got a raise.

I didn't do anything all day, but my i phone said I was productive.

A job where men take more selfies than they take bathroom breaks, and their i phone is their only friend.

I took 10 selfies and got a promotion. My boss said I'm a 'selfie machine.'

My i phone is my best friend. It even likes me back.

I didn't work today, but I took 20 selfies. My i phone is proud.

A job where men use their i phone like it's a therapist, and they don't even talk to their actual boss.

I sent my i phone a message: 'I'm sad.' It sent me a meme. I got a raise.

I don't talk to my boss, I text my i phone all day.

My i phone is my therapist, my friend, and my boss. I'm getting a bonus.

A job where men are paid to look at their i phone, and they think they're being productive.

I looked at my i phone for 8 hours. My boss said I was 'focused.'

I got a promotion because I opened my i phone 500 times today.

I was paid to watch my i phone. It was worth it.