I was trying to leave the gas station, and my ex came in and said, 'You never lied? I remember you lying to me about the pizza.' I said, 'That was one time, and it was a cheese pizza!'

Some random guy in a suit walked in and said, 'I know all your secrets.' I said, 'Sir, I don't even know my own secrets!'

My dad walked in and said, 'You're trying to escape the gas station again? You never lie, but you're always running.' I said, 'I'm not running, I'm escaping!'