I need steps

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 3 definitions

a fake excuse to jerk off while wearing a FitBit so it thinks you're walking and you get extra steps by cheating

I need steps because my FitBit is lying to me

I need steps because my pants are too tight and my brain is too weak

I need steps because I’m too lazy to walk and too proud to admit it

when you lie to your FitBit and your brain to make it look like you're doing something you're not doing

I need steps because my FitBit says I ran a marathon and I didn’t

I need steps because my brain is tired and my hands are busy

I need steps because my FitBit is smarter than me

when you pretend to walk but you're really just wanking and your FitBit is fooled by your fake walking

I need steps because I’m wanking and my FitBit is a idiot

I need steps because my legs are asleep and my brain is on fire

I need steps because I'm too weak to move and too proud to admit it