I love America - You say it when you’re so wasted and confused that you think

You say it when you’re so wasted and confused that you think the whole world is a giant pizza and you’re just trying to get to the center.

I was so wasted I told a pizza delivery guy 'I love America' and he gave me extra cheese for free.

After a night of drinking and crying in the bathroom, I said 'I love America' to my mom and she gave me a hug.

I was so confused I told my dog 'I love America' and he barked at me like I was the president.