I Know For A Fact - A shout-out from someone who thinks they're a detective, but

A shout-out from someone who thinks they're a detective, but they’re really just guessing and hoping no one checks their facts.

I know for a fact that your dog is plotting against you. It’s probably stealing your socks.

I know for a fact that you ate the last slice of pizza. You’re a monster.

I know for a fact that the sky is green. Also, I know for a fact that you’re fake.