I just cracked me one off.
When you say you jacked off to something online, even if you didn't. Sometimes it's true, sometimes it's just a way to act cool.
'I cracked me one off to that video of the cat falling off the couch.'
'He just cracked me one off because the story had a hot guy in it.'
'She said she cracked me one off to that meme about the confused chicken.'