I just cracked me one off.
A stupid and proud way to say you jacked off to a picture or story online. People use it like it's a big deal, even if it's just a dumb joke.
'I cracked me one off to that guy's selfie.'
'She just cracked me one off to the story about the sad trombone.'
'He cracked me one off to the doge meme, even though he didn't really.'