I have to text my pig - A stupid excuse that sounds like something a kid would say w

A stupid excuse that sounds like something a kid would say when they're too lazy to do their homework and their pig is judging them.

I have to text my pig or I'll get eaten by it.

My pig is screaming at me in my head and I have to text it.

I have to text my pig because it’s been ignoring me for three days.