I have a microwave
A lazy excuse for being a bad friend. You say it when you’re too lazy to actually help but still want to pretend you care. It’s like when you’re at the grocery store and you just say the first thing that pops into your head.
My friend texted me 'I have a microwave' when I asked if I could borrow his car. I felt like he was making fun of me.
My coworker said 'I have a microwave' when I cried at my desk. It was like he didn’t even notice.
At the party, my cousin said 'I have a microwave' when I told him my dog ran away. He was the worst.