I don't hold a hose

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Australian slang for 'why should I care when you're the one burning down the place'

'I don't hold a hose' as the PM sipped coconut water on a beach while the country went up in flames

'I don't hold a hose' said the guy who didn't even know what a hose was

'I don't hold a hose' as if the fire was someone else's fault and not his own doing

Australian slang for 'you're the one who's not doing the job'

'I don't hold a hose' said the guy who was on holiday while the country cried

'I don't hold a hose' when asked to help by a kid who was still in school

'I don't hold a hose' as if he had a hose and was holding it somewhere else

Australian slang for 'I’m not here to save your ass'

'I don't hold a hose' as the PM laughed while the country burned

'I don't hold a hose' as if he was the one who started the fire

'I don't hold a hose' said the man who was actually on the beach, not the fire