i could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you
If I told you my secret, I’d have to pour hot sauce on your brain.
My cousin said, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you,' and I started eating chips to distract myself.
My teacher said, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you,' and I took a nap.
My friend said, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you,' and I screamed in the hallway.