I Am Subterfuge Personified, Call Me Hellstrom
I’m the reason your mom’s spaghetti got burnt and your dad’s coffee went cold.
He turned my mom’s spaghetti into charcoal and my dad’s coffee into sludge.
He messed up my mom’s spaghetti and my dad’s coffee at the same time.
He made my mom’s spaghetti taste like a fire and my dad’s coffee taste like dirt.