I am on a FBI watchlist - a fancy way to say you're so messed up the FBI thinks you're

a fancy way to say you're so messed up the FBI thinks you're a real-life villain

I am on a FBI watchlist because I tried to rob a vending machine and got caught by the principal.

I am on a FBI watchlist because I told the cops my dog is a spy.

I am on a FBI watchlist because I texted the president and said he’s a bad dancer.