i am not a plastic bag - a bag that thinks it's special because it's not made of plas

a bag that thinks it's special because it's not made of plastic. It's like a kid who gets a sticker and acts like it's a Nobel Prize.

This bag is so fake green, it’s like it’s trying to be a tree and failing.

I got this bag because it was ‘cool’ and ‘eco’ and ‘trendy’, all words I don’t understand.

This bag is just a plastic bag wearing sunglasses.