My dad asked me if I wanted to go to the park. I said yes. He took me there. Then he tried to high-five me. I said, ‘Dad, that’s not a high-five.’

My neighbor told me he was a pedo. I asked why. He said, ‘Because I like little girls and I don’t care who knows.’

My friend said his dad was a pedo. I asked why. He said, ‘Because he asked my mom out on a date.’