Hairy Thumb
A guy so out of shape and hairy, you think he’s a lost sock that grew a face.
You’re the Hairy Thumb. You look like you haven’t washed your face since the Stone Age.
I swear you’re the Hairy Thumb. You got more hair than a squirrel in a snowstorm.
You’re the Hairy Thumb. I’m not even mad, I’m just impressed.