Hair Across Your Ass
If you're a hair across your ass, you're like a broken clock that doesn’t just tell the wrong time, it yells about it.
He had a hair across his ass because his alarm didn’t go off. He screamed like the alarm had insulted his entire family.
She got a hair across her ass because her computer froze. She yelled at the computer like it was her enemy.
My brother had a hair across his ass because he spilled his juice. He screamed like he was dying.