haias
A friend who will save your ass but will also make you wish you were dead if you annoy them. They might fake being nice to someone they hate, but once they're your friend, they're stuck with you for life.
You text them at 2 a. m. crying about your ex. They show up at your door with pizza and a knife.
They let the guy at the bar talk trash about you, but when he leaves, they punch him in the face.
They pretend to like your fake friend, but later they tell you that fake friend is a total waste of space.