haggler

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1
A person who never stops annoying the hell out of someone else. They're like the worst roommate you ever had, but they’re always trying to trick you into thinking you're getting a deal.
"You paid $10 for that? I'll give you $5 if you let me borrow your pants!", The haggler at the flea market
"Why are you still here? You’ve been haggling me for 2 hours!", My uncle to a guy at the grocery store
"You want a discount? I'll give you a discount if you promise to stop talking.", A haggler to a kid at the arcade
2
An Asian salesperson who lies about a product being new so they can get a commission and maybe afford a kidney transplant.
"This is the latest model, not the one that’s been discontinued 10 times!", A haggler at the mall
"I need this money for my mom’s surgery. Please just buy it!", A haggler at the pharmacy
"It’s brand new, I swear! It just smells like the guy before me.", A haggler in a shoe store
3
A broke, lazy, worthless piece of trash who thinks they can get stuff for free just because they asked nicely.
"I’ll give you 50 cents if you let me have this.", A haggler at the food truck
"I just want one piece of cake. Please?", A haggler at the birthday party
"You don’t even need this. I do.", A haggler at the thrift store
4
A smelly, creepy person who follows you around like a stalker just to haggle you over something you didn’t even want.
"I watched you eat that candy. I know you want my gum drops.", A haggler in the bathroom
"You left your stink behind. I’m gonna get you for it.", A haggler at the mall
"You don’t know me, but I know your poop.", A haggler outside the school
5
A person who’s obsessed with finding the guy with the best dick and will haggle over every little detail like it’s a real estate deal.
"He’s got a 10-inch, but I think the other one is better.", A haggler at the bar
"I’ll take him for $100 if he promises to stay for 2 hours.", A haggler at the club
"He’s got a nice one, but I want a discount.", A haggler at the gym
6
A non-Jewish person who thinks they can haggle like a real Jew and probably doesn’t know what that means.
"I’ll give you $5 if you let me have that jacket.", A haggler at the market
"I’m not Jewish, but I know how to haggle.", A guy at the store
"I’ve haggled with 100 Jews. I know what I’m doing.", A guy at the mall
7
A smug old man who bargains his way into every single fuck he gets, and he does it four times every hour.
"I’ll take you for $5 if you promise to stay for 10 minutes.", A haggler at the bar
"I’ve got 20 minutes, and I’ll take you for $2.", A haggler at the club
"I’ll haggle you for every single fuck.", A haggler at the restaurant
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