hageah

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A hageah is when your grandma tongue-lashes your back like she's trying to find out if you're a showering human or a pig in a suit.

My grandma did a hageah on me and said I smelled like a garbage can that got hit by a skunk.

She did a hageah and said I hadn't showered since the last time the moon blinked.

My grandma did a hageah and said I looked like a raccoon that got stuck in a sock.

A hageah happens when your grandma licks your back like she's checking your GPA and your hygiene all at once.

My grandma did a hageah and said I had the hygiene of a used sock.

She did a hageah and said I smelled like old pizza and regret.

My grandma did a hageah and said I had the cleanest GPA but the dirtiest back.

A hageah is when your grandma licks your back like it's a crime scene and she's trying to solve the mystery of your last shower.

My grandma did a hageah and said my last shower was a crime that happened in the 80s.

She did a hageah and said my back was a crime scene with a lot of evidence.

My grandma did a hageah and said I hadn't showered since the dinosaurs had their last dance.