hagatha

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My fake grandma. A loudmouth, no-self-control, ass-flapping, mouth-breathing, hot-mess hag who thinks she's the boss of everything.

My grandma just yelled at my mom for not bringing her coffee. I told her she was a hagatha.

My grandma called me a 'disgrace to the family' because I wore pajamas to school. Classic hagatha behavior.

She said I had a 'face like a fried egg.' That’s a hagatha compliment.

A woman who ruins all the fun and acts like she's the queen of the boring party. She's your friend who shows up and makes everything lame.

My friend Karen showed up to my birthday party and cried the whole time. She's a hagatha.

My cousin brought a fanny pack to the beach. She's a hagatha.

My aunt said my pizza was 'not good enough.' She's a hagatha.

A woman who fell down a mountain of ugliness and got hit by a bunch of ugly sticks from an old hag who didn’t like her.

My neighbor looked like she had been dragged through a mud puddle by a raccoon. She’s a hagatha.

My cousin got stuck in a tree and screamed like a hagatha.

My grandma's face looked like it had been beaten by a bag of bricks. Total hagatha.

A woman who thinks she’s a detective, but she’s just a clumsy, clueless, overconfident mess who gets everything wrong.

My friend Sarah thought the thief was my dog. She’s a hagatha.

My cousin thought the mystery was that my sister had a bad hair day. She’s a hagatha.

My grandma said the mystery was that the sky was blue. She’s a hagatha.

The kind of person who thinks they’re awesome, but they’re actually just a big, loud, smelly, stupid mess.

My brother thinks he’s a genius, but he failed math. He’s a hagatha.

My cousin thinks she’s the best dancer, but she tripped over her own feet. She’s a hagatha.

My grandma thinks she’s the best cook, but she burned the cake. She’s a hagatha.