Haemocolon
Your butt goes through a f***ing nightmare after a bike crash. It's like your backside got thrown into a blender and didn't come out.
I crashed so hard my butt was like, 'I'm done for.'
That fall was so bad my backside looked like it had been f***ing tortured.
My bike ride was so wild my butt got the full experience of a f***ing horror movie.