Haem
Haem is like a psycho ex-wife who thinks she’s in a horror movie, but she’s also wearing a dress that costs more than your rent.
She texted me: 'I fell down the stairs. Again. And I’m still hot.' I said, 'You’re hot, but I’m not falling down any stairs.'
At the drag show, she said, 'I’m not just hot, I’m emotionally mature. And I’ve been doing it since 2007.'
She sent me a DM: 'I live in Bristol, but I’m emotionally mature. You’re just a loser in a different city.'