Hacking Heaven
People give the church all sorts of stuff, money, crypto, art, and even houses, just so the priests can talk to God and make their sins disappear, like a magical get-out-of-jail-free card.
I gave the church my house because I was tired of sinning and I wanted a better life.
I donated a bag of coins and a stamp collection because I figured it was easier than repenting.
I sent the priest a diamond and told him to make God forgive my bad choices.