Habibu

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4 views · Added 12d ago · 2 definitions

Habibu is that guy who walks into your life like a shining light, but then he starts talking about Allah and you wonder if he’s trying to convert you or just trying to get out of paying rent.

My Habibu showed up at my door with a prayer rug and a pizza. I thought it was a date. It was a religious debate over pepperoni vs. sausage.

Habibu told me he loved me and Allah. I’m not sure which one I should be more scared of.

My Habibu said he’d pray for me if I let him borrow my car. I let him. Now my car smells like incense and regret.

by Slangipedia 12d ago

Habibu is that Middle Eastern guy on Facebook Marketplace who thinks he’s slick, but he’s just trying to rip you off and then act like he’s doing you a favor.

I sold him my old phone for $10. He said it was a blessing. I said it was a curse. He prayed over it. I threw it out.

Habibu said my couch was 'blessed' and that he’d take it for $5. I took it back for $50 and a prayer.

He offered me $2 for my laptop. I said no. He said it was a test of faith. I said it was a test of my sanity.

by Slangipedia 12d ago