Haavineesh
Haavineesh is a person who will tell you your problems are stupid, but will still help you solve them.
I told him my life was falling apart. He said, 'You're just being dramatic.'
He helped me write my essay. Then he said, 'You're just not good enough.'
He told me he'd help me with my job interview. Then he said, 'You're just not good enough for a job.'