Haarlem
A place that’s been around since before your grandma’s hips went bad. It’s got a name that sounds like it was made up by a drunk farmer.
My history teacher said Haarlem is older than my dad’s hair.
I asked my mom why Haarlem is so important, she said, ‘Because it’s got trees, stupid.’
I named my pet goat Haarlem because he looks like a tree.