My friend’s cousin is named Haagensen and says he’s part of an ancient royal family. I asked if they still have kings. He said, 'Yes, and they wear socks with sandals.'

My teacher called Haagensen a 'lost legend' and then got distracted by her coffee.

I looked up Haagensen and found a guy who claims he’s the last of the Atlantean warriors. He also has a pet goat named Poseidon.