haagen

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2 views · Added 2d ago · 7 definitions

A psycho faggot who stalks people like they owe him money. The Haaganese were blue-haired lunatics who wore loincloths and screamed at tourists in Jamaica.

@haagenfan4ever why are you following me 12 times a day? i’m gonna report you to the FBI

i saw him in the mall. he had a loincloth and a map of jamaica. he was crazy.

he texts me at 3 a. m. with a photo of his loincloth and a message that says 'you will never escape me'

by Slangipedia 2d ago

Haagen is like ice cream, but it’s cursed. It doesn’t have dots or a ‘das’ because the government said ‘das’ makes your heart explode like a piñata.

i ate haagen and now my heart is broken. it’s like i was hit by a bus and a pizza.

the fda banned ‘das’ because it turned my cousin into a giant chicken.

i tried to eat haagen and now i can’t stop crying. it’s like my soul is on fire.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

He’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. He won’t yell at you. He won’t make you cry. He’s the guy who will still talk to you even if you’re a total disaster.

he let me fail my math test and still said i was cool. that guy is a god.

he didn’t laugh at my dog’s face. he just said 'that’s a strong look.'

he still talks to me even though i spilled pizza on his shirt. that’s love.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

When you’re eating ice cream and you just can’t stop. It’s like your brain is on fire and it’s screaming ‘EAT MORE ICE CREAM!’

i ate the whole pint of haagen and now i’m on the floor. my brain is dead.

i had one scoop and now i’ve eaten the whole container. what’s wrong with me?

i was eating ice cream and i didn’t stop. my mom called the cops.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

Haagen is the reason you’re alive. Without it, you’d be dead. You’d be sad. You’d be crying.

haagen is my life. without it, i’d be a sad ghost floating in the sky.

i owe my life to haagen. it’s like it saved me from a really bad day.

haagen is the only reason i get out of bed in the morning.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

It’s the best weekend of the year. You get to eat ice cream. You get to forget your problems. You get to be happy.

i live for this weekend. haagen weekend is my favorite. it’s like heaven.

this weekend is the best. i don’t have to do anything but eat ice cream.

haagen weekend is like a holiday. i don’t have to go to school or work.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

It’s the fanciest ice cream name ever. It sounds like it should be in a movie. Everyone from Scandinavia should be renamed ‘Haagen’ because they’re fancy and cool.

haagen is the fanciest name ever. it’s like it was made for a king.

i want to be called haagen. it sounds like it’s from a movie.

scandinavians should all be called haagen. they’re fancy and cool.

by Slangipedia 2d ago