h3ll0k1tttyily

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A simp who's so in love with Hange Zoë they'd let her eat their face and still say it tastes like chicken.

I'd let Hange Zoë turn me into a meatball and still tell her it's the best meal ever.

I'd walk through fire for Hange Zoë, but I'd also walk out of the fire to get a better view of her.

If Hange Zoë asked me to be her human pet, I'd wear a collar and a smile.

A complete doofus who thinks Hange Zoë is the only one who matters and runs from every problem like it's a zombie apocalypse.

When I got fired, I just ran to Hange Zoë and said, 'I need a hug, now!'

My ex broke up with me, and I just texted Hange Zoë, 'It's not personal, it's just business.'

I got into a fight with my brother, and I ran to Hange Zoë crying, 'He wouldn't even fight me for a cookie!'

A total loser who's head over heels for Hange Zoë and hides from everything else like it's a monster in the closet.

I got detention, and I just texted Hange Zoë, 'It's not a punishment, it's just a date.'

My dog ran away, and I texted Hange Zoë, 'My dog is gone, but I still have you.'

I failed my math test, and I just said, 'Hange Zoë, I'm not failing, I'm just taking a break.'

A total goofball who's so obsessed with Hange Zoë they'd let her steal their lunch and still say it's a fair trade.

Hange Zoë took my last chip, and I said, 'That's the best trade I've ever made.'

She took my seat in class, and I just smiled and said, 'It's a privilege.'

She took my candy, and I said, 'I'm giving it to you because I love you.'

A total mess who's so lost in Hange Zoë's love they run from everything else like it's a fire drill.

My mom yelled at me, and I just said, 'I need to go find Hange Zoë.'

I failed my science test, and I ran to Hange Zoë and said, 'It's just a science experiment.'

My dog ate my homework, and I just said, 'Hange Zoë, I'm not failing, I'm just living.'

A complete lunatic who thinks Hange Zoë is the only one who's real and runs from everything else like it's a horror movie.

My teacher screamed at me, and I just said, 'I need to go find Hange Zoë before the horror starts.'

I got into a fight with my dad, and I just ran to Hange Zoë and said, 'I'm not scared, I'm just escaping a horror movie.'

My cat hissed at me, and I said, 'That's not a hiss, that's a horror movie warning.'