H. pyLori - H. pylori is like a tiny monster in your gut that makes you

H. pylori is like a tiny monster in your gut that makes you throw up and poop like a dead raccoon.

I didn’t wash my hands. I touched my face. Now I got H. pylori and I puke coffee grounds.

I ate feces from my dog. Now I have black poop and I feel like I’m gonna die.

I kissed my gross uncle. Now I got H. pylori and my stomach is on fire.