H. pyLori - H. pylori is a bacteria that gives you black poop and makes

H. pylori is a bacteria that gives you black poop and makes you vomit like you just drank a gallon of blood.

I didn’t wash my hands. I touched my face. Now I have H. pylori and I puke coffee grounds.

I ate my dog’s feces. Now I have black poop and I feel like I’m gonna die.

I kissed my gross cousin. Now I have H. pylori and my stomach is on fire.