Galaxial Express

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The universe’s worst delivery service. You pay extra and still get your stuff late and broken.

My pizza arrived two years later and it was just a crumb.

I ordered a spaceship and got a toy rocket.

My grandma’s birthday cake was delivered as a moldy sock.

A scam that charges you for shipping things you didn’t ask for.

I paid for a package I never ordered and got a live ferret.

My subscription included a lifetime supply of glitter and a confused parrot.

I got a box of socks and a note that said 'you’re fired.'

The only way to send stuff across the galaxy, but it’s like mailing a cat to Mars in a shoebox.

My dog got lost in space and now lives on Saturn.

I sent my mom a cake, and it came back with a mustache on it.

My brother’s text message took 300 years to arrive.

A slow, expensive, and unreliable way to send stuff that’s basically a cosmic version of the postal service.

I sent a letter and it came back with a tattoo.

My computer took 10 years to arrive and it was broken.

I sent my kid to college and he arrived 50 years late.

A galaxy-sized delivery company that charges you for things that never show up.

I paid for a package and got nothing but a thank-you note from a confused alien.

My new phone was delivered as a dead rat.

I ordered a sandwich and got a tax bill.

The only way to send stuff across the stars, but it’s like throwing a dart blindfolded and hoping it hits the right planet.

I sent my cat to Venus and it came back with a sunburn.

My homework was delivered 100 years late and it was scribbled on a toilet paper roll.

I sent my best friend to Mars and he never came back.