Galador
A round, smelly man with no job who thinks he’s cool because he runs a website about corks. He’s got a tiny willy and lies about having a girlfriend named Hannah who’s got a willy too.
He posted a picture of a cork and called it "the best cork ever."
I asked him why he needs a girlfriend. He said, "Because I’m desperate."
He told me Hannah is his best friend. I don’t believe him.