Gainesville defibrillator
A brutal way to shock someone back to life used by Gainesville locals. It involves finger deep in the butt and a loud yell of ‘Get up, you lazy sack of dirt!’
My uncle passed out at the gas station. I used the Gainesville defibrillator and he yelled ‘I’m not dead yet!’
At the concert, my friend fainted. I shoved my finger up his butt and he jumped like a startled goat.
During the football game, the ref collapsed. I gave him the Gainesville defibrillator and he ran the whole way to the end zone.