Gainesville

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6 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A town where everyone drinks like it's their last day on Earth and the football team is the only thing keeping them from crying in the locker room.
'I skipped school today because the football team lost and I was too drunk to care.'
'My uncle got fired because he tried to start a bar fight with the football coach.'
'The whole town got wasted after the Gators won the championship. My neighbor passed out in the street.'
2
A place where rich people move in, but then get stuck with cows, alpacas, and a bunch of rednecks who think Lee Hwy is the only road on Earth.
'My cousin moved to Somerset and now she can't stop talking about how rich she is.'
'My dad still lives in a run-down house and drives a tractor to work.'
'Everyone in Gainesville thinks they're from Fairfax, even if they've never been there.'
3
A town where everyone has a group, there’s a party every weekend, and the only thing people talk about is who cheated on who and who smells like a fish market.
'My friend got dumped by her ex because he was cheating with her best friend.'
'I saw a girl walking in the hallway and she reeked like a fish market.'
'The school is so fake that even the teachers don't know what's going on.'
4
A stupid town with the dumbest people on the planet. They think they're cool just because they live in Gainesville and the Gators are okay.
'My cousin thinks he's the best because he plays basketball and he’s in 2K!'
'My uncle went to the University of Florida and now he’s stuck with a job at a gas station.'
'I told my friend he was the dumbest hick in Gainesville and he took it as a compliment.'
5
A tiny hole of a town with a run-down hotel, roaches, vampires, and people who take pictures of gators like they're celebrities.
'My friend took a picture of a gator and posted it on Twitter, but he didn't know what Twitter was.'
'The hotel in Gainesville is so run down that it's haunted by roaches and vampires.'
'The only people who live in Gainesville are inbred racists who don’t know the difference between a gator and a crocodile.'
6
A college town that smells like weed, has panhandlers, and clubs so bad that they make you want to cry.
'I took molly and went geocaching because the clubs in Gainesville are so bad.'
'The panhandlers chased me down the sidewalk and asked for money.'
'The clubs in Gainesville are so lame that I almost cried.'
7
A sunny place full of hot people who drink like it’s their last day on Earth and live for football victories.
'After the Gators won, the whole town got wasted and my neighbor passed out in the street.'
'Everyone in Gainesville is hot, but they all smell like weed.'
'Gainesville is so tight that it’s like a party every day.'
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