Gafftard

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3 views · Added 13d ago · 6 definitions

1
A famous person or politician who, when given a mic or camera, is determined to say the dumbest, most ridiculous thing possible. Their brain short-circuits, and even their fans have to run away screaming.
'I think the moon is made of melted cheese and also my ex.'
'I ate a whole pizza for breakfast and now I'm a superhero.'
'The economy is fine. I just lost my job.'
2
A person in the spotlight who talks so much nonsense that even their family feels embarrassed. They're like a broken vending machine, just spitting out garbage.
'I told the president my cat told me to do it.'
'I’m not rich. I’m just broke in a fancy way.'
'I invented the wheel. Now I’m taking a nap.'
3
A public figure who, when asked a question, responds with something so stupid that it makes everyone in the room want to throw things. They’re like a bad joke that won’t stop telling itself.
'I believe the Earth is flat and also a giant donut.'
'I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy conservation mode.'
'I don’t have a plan. I have a vibe.'
4
A person who gets on a stage or in front of a camera and says the most ridiculous things possible, like they’re trying to confuse the audience into leaving. Their brain is on fire and it’s not going out.
'I think the sun is a giant tomato.'
'I don’t speak English. I speak English with a side of chaos.'
'I told the ocean to shut up, and it started crying.'
5
A person who gets on TV or in a video and says the stupidest things, like they’re trying to make everyone in the room feel stupid too. Their brain is stuck in reverse and it’s not coming out.
'I think the moon is made of pizza crust.'
'I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.'
'I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know I’m doing it wrong.'
6
A person who, when given a microphone, says the most ridiculous stuff ever, like they’re trying to turn everyone into a laughingstock. Their brain is on strike and it’s not coming back.
'I believe the Earth is a giant sandwich and I’m the bread.'
'I don’t have a plan. I have a dream. And it’s not coming true.'
'I told the clouds to stop being so dramatic, and they started crying.'
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