Gaff-daddy
A gaff-daddy is a man who thinks he’s the boss, but the kids, the wife, and the boss all know the real truth.
‘I’m the gaff-daddy, and I’m still wearing socks.’, said my kid after I threw them out.
‘You’re not a dad, you’re a gaff-daddy.’, said my wife after I forgot to pay the bills again.
‘I’m the gaff-daddy, and I’m still breathing.’, said my dog after I yelled at him for eating my shoes.