gabephile
A gabephile is someone who can’t stand Gabe. They’re too distracted by a hot butt or a cute face to even think straight.
My teacher is a gabephile. She gave me a D for staring at a Gabe.
I saw a Gabe in class. I cried and hid under my desk.
I met a Gabe at the movie theater. I left and cried in the parking lot.