Gabe James
A guy who’s got a soft spot for kids (especially boys) and also thinks buttholes are the best thing since pizza. He wears mankini like it’s a lifestyle.
He showed up at the soccer game wearing a mankini and a fanny pack. The kids cheered. The other parents stared.
He told my kid, 'Your butthole is the reason I’m still alive.' I asked him why. He didn’t know.
He sent me a message: 'I’m gonna wear a mankini to the parent-teacher meeting. It’s gonna be iconic.'