F.MA.M
A bloated middle-aged man who lives in the suburbs and either plays dad or tries to be a band director. He tells bad jokes and wears socks that touch his armpits. He sweats like a pig and talks about Monty Python like it's the only thing that matters.
My dad is an F. M. A. M. He wears socks so high they look like they're trying to escape.
The band director at my school is an F. M. A. M. He makes us practice the same song 10 times and says it's 'for the greater good.'
I saw an F. M. A. M. at the grocery store. He was sweating so much, I thought he was about to melt.