fackage

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2 views · Added 4d ago · 3 definitions

1
A big, blobby package that looks like it was hit by a truck. Not fat, just stubbornly round. Most fackages turn into regular packages by middle school, but some stay forever.
My cousin is a fackage. He eats like a horse and still looks like a beach ball.
My teacher said I was a fackage until I started running.
My dog is a fackage. He won’t stop eating pizza.
2
A person who’s round like a tire but not quite ready to be called fat. They’re the human version of a balloon that won’t pop.
My mom is a fackage. She eats cake for breakfast and still wears size 8 jeans.
My brother is a fackage. He’s been one since he was 8.
My friend’s a fackage. He can’t fit into his pants after pizza night.
3
A person who’s got a little extra fluff, like a pillow wrapped in skin. They’re the kind of person who looks like they’ve been sitting on a couch for 10 years.
My dad is a fackage. He eats donuts for dinner and still claims he’s not fat.
My neighbor is a fackage. She looks like she was baked in a pie.
My little brother is a fackage. He eats like a pig and still plays soccer.
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