My friend blocked me because I said his haircut looked like a squirrel died on his head.

My teacher posted a photo of my lunch and said 'this is the saddest lunch I've ever seen.' I replied 'it's the saddest lunch since the invention of sadness.'

I liked my crush's post 10 times and he asked me why. I said 'because I'm obsessed.' He said 'you're not.'