faceturbation - When you're so obsessed with yourself that you stalk your ow

When you're so obsessed with yourself that you stalk your own Facebook like it's a detective show and you're the main character.

I checked my own profile 20 times before I remembered I was supposed to be alive.

I liked my own post 7 times and it felt like I was winning the lottery.

I stared at my own photo for so long, my dog started barking at me.