faceshitting

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1 views · Added 6d ago · 5 definitions

Facebooking on the toilet like it's your full-time job and your poops are your coworkers.

I posted a status about my constipation and now my mom is messaging me.

I commented on my crush's post and now we're in a feud.

I watched a 10-minute video of a cat doing nothing while I held my poop.

Using any screen to log on to Facebook while your butt is on the toilet and your brain is on fire.

I FaceTimed my best friend and told her I was dying.

I posted a photo of my toilet paper and got 20 likes.

I tried to type a message but my fingers were covered in poop.

So drunk you can't even say 'shitfaced' right, you're just a pile of vomit and confusion.

I said 'shifaced' and my friend laughed at me.

I tried to text my mom but I just sent a picture of my face.

I fell off the couch and yelled 'I'm gonna die!'

Commenting on Facebook like you're the president and your comment is a decree of doom.

I said 'You're a loser' and now we're fighting.

I commented 'This is the worst day ever' and now my friend is crying.

I posted a comment and now my ex is messaging me.

Facetiming on Apple products while taking a shit like you're in a Zoom call with your doom.

I Facetimed my mom and told her I was dying.

I FaceTimed my boss and said I was sick.

I Facetimed my friend and said I was going to die from constipation.